Online Discourse

Hello! I hope you are doing well. Recently I've been reading and writing comments about a game that I am playing, about which opinions are somewhat divided. I don't want to talk about the game here, I just want to talk about the way people are engaging in online discourse about the game.

As with most games, you have a group of people who feel mostly positive about it, and a group of people who feel mostly negative about it. Then of course you have the extremes who are either 100% or 0%. In any case, while many people are happily sharing their opinions in either direction, there are some people who are actively trying to rob others of their right to certain opinions, either by belittling them, insulting them or just claiming that their opinion is invalid for whatever reason they can come up with. I feel like arguing in this way is damaging not only to the medium at hand but also to giving valid feedback through positive and negative criticism. After all, if people are not allowed to voice their opinions and the reasons for them, how can we communicate our desires for certain media? In my opinion, all criticism that is negative or positive, without being destructive, should be considered valid, even if not everyone will agree. Then, others can talk about things they agree or disagree with and add their own opinion on top. People should, at best, try to make each other understand the reasons for their opinion while respecting the opinion of the other person.

When voicing an opinion, we should take care to formulate it in a way that makes it clear that this is the way we think, and not immediately attack other people with that opinion. For example, it is good to say "I think this game is fantastic, I especially liked ...", or "I didn't really enjoy this game, I thought there was too much ...", instead of saying: "How can you not think this is the best game ever?", or "Everyone who doesn't like this is just sad and lonely."

When someone presents their opinion in a constructive manner, it's important to acknowledge the other person when sharing your counter-opinion. You can say things like: "I see, but I don't agree with your point about ..., here's why: ... ", or, "I can see why you would like that, but it had the opposite effect for me, because ..." I think we should be able to tell each other we don't agree without trying to make the other persons opinion seem less valid, just because we don't share it. In the end, you're unlikely to convince someone of your opinion, because video games, and other media, are highly subjective and opinions, hopefully, formed after someone has had experience with that game or other piece of media.

Some people try to dismiss all positive or negative criticism to the thing they have the opposite opinion of, by just claiming that other people don't get it, or are not real fans, or a million other reasons. This is inherently false, but people will try it anyway all the time. Personally, I think any space where media are discussed should warn (and eventually ban) anyone who tries to subdue other people's opinions. If someone starts a discourse about something, they must be prepared for people chiming in with an opinion they don't like. As long as that opinion is presented in a polite and thoughtful manner, this should be valid and not subject to punishment or ridicule. I know that it can feel like people are attacking you when they criticize something you love, and people can seem dumb when they absolutely love something you do not get at all. But this is most certainly not what is happening. People and entertainment come in all sorts of flavors, and we need to learn to accept each other even if we are not of the same opinion.

While I think that we should all be tolerant of other people's valid opinions, we should not tolerate factual errors or arguments made in bad faith. For example, if someone claims something that can easily be proven wrong by a bit of research, or someone argues for a whole group of people, or is just being entirely destructive while presenting their opinion and addressing the opinions of others. It does not make sense to try to argue with people who do not respect others opinions. Sometimes it's best to either ignore them or let them know they are being disrespectful.

Personally, I would really like it if people were able to share both their positive and negative opinions of things without going at each others throats. Yes sometimes contrary opinions can hurt us, but we must remember that everyone experiences things in a different way, and we should cherish each others experiences even if they are different from our own. You can still shake your head and think that you don't understand those people at all, but do not deny them. Even if 100 people agree that something is gold, and 1 person thinks that it's garbage or vice versa, that 1 person's opinion is just as valid.